Saturday, September 10, 2005
self-indulgent
I still can't sleep. This has to end; last night's bedtime was four in the morning. Luckily this was a weekend I could sleep in.
(Things Rabbit accomplished this time around: putting half of the box of wipes all over the floor, screwing up the little hand-painted-paper boards I was using for tops on the plastic crates we use for bedside tables. At least this time I was smart enough to move my box of nail polishes to the bathroom before I went to bed. Our floor is very festive, thanks to a little early-Thursday-morning painting spree.)
Fall is my favorite season. September has become a crap month, though. There are the national traumas, of course, and there are our personal ones. Last year, on September 11th, Rabbit had her monster seizure, the one where she stopped breathing. She was flown by chopper to a hospital that had a pediatric ward, and we spent two nights there -- Ben and I slept in chairs in her room -- while they monitored her to make sure she was alright. And now, here we are a year later, going through tests and scans and meeting with specialists. No problems for a year, and then BAM! (no Emeril reference intended), here it is all over again.
I know the big problems our country is facing are much bigger than our little crises, I'm not THAT self-involved. I'm just trying to explain why I may seem a little emotionally unbalanced, in case you have to deal with me in real life and think I'm off my rocker entirely. I'm sorry. I'm not totally crazy (maybe partially), just a little . . . weary.
I think September will always make me nervous.
(Things Rabbit accomplished this time around: putting half of the box of wipes all over the floor, screwing up the little hand-painted-paper boards I was using for tops on the plastic crates we use for bedside tables. At least this time I was smart enough to move my box of nail polishes to the bathroom before I went to bed. Our floor is very festive, thanks to a little early-Thursday-morning painting spree.)
Fall is my favorite season. September has become a crap month, though. There are the national traumas, of course, and there are our personal ones. Last year, on September 11th, Rabbit had her monster seizure, the one where she stopped breathing. She was flown by chopper to a hospital that had a pediatric ward, and we spent two nights there -- Ben and I slept in chairs in her room -- while they monitored her to make sure she was alright. And now, here we are a year later, going through tests and scans and meeting with specialists. No problems for a year, and then BAM! (no Emeril reference intended), here it is all over again.
I know the big problems our country is facing are much bigger than our little crises, I'm not THAT self-involved. I'm just trying to explain why I may seem a little emotionally unbalanced, in case you have to deal with me in real life and think I'm off my rocker entirely. I'm sorry. I'm not totally crazy (maybe partially), just a little . . . weary.
I think September will always make me nervous.
